Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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