I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
