Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
