We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
