good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
