You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
