So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
