i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize