i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
