so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize