I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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