why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
