yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize