I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
