I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
