Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We are two peas in an std pod
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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