I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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