i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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