The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Do vagina's smell?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
