hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
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