2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize