Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
