So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
