Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
