you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize