She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
