How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
