using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
