Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I love you.
Bad choice
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