If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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