So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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