hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
