I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
