Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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