dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
