Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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