jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
