I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
