he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
