no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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