yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
