you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
