Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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