Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
