to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
