Ambien. No doubt about it.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
