If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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