A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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