I got chris browned last night
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
