Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
i now understand why vodka
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
