I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
