How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
