Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
