We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
and you fell through a lawn chair
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
