Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
