oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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