That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
