I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
