they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
