I murdered the dance floor call the cops
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
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