so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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