Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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