he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize