Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize