Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
