Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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